Comments for Confessions of a Mean Mommy

Comment on Vassar College Makes Huge Acceptance-Letter Screw-Up, Hurts Students’ Feelings. But Should Their Parents Try to Fix It? by Marijke

Marijke — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 12:05:52 +0000

Excellent piece. I wish that many people who really need to read this would.

When my oldest son was in grade 6, the year before high school here in Quebec, he applied to an all-boys private school that he really wanted to attend. Although it wouldn’t be easy, we agreed that he should try, for a variety of reasons. Now, I don’t know if we were naive or arrogant, but it never occurred to us that he wouldn’t be accepted. Until he received his rejection letter. Having a 12-year-old boy sobbing in your arms because “They don’t want me, I’m not good enough,” is so heart breaking that I did want to march to the school and demand an explanation. How dare they refuse my son! But I didn’t.

I told my son, if you want to attend the school so badly, write a letter to the principal and explain why you want to be on the waiting list. It has to come from you. So he did. In his 12-year-old way, he wrote a heartfelt letter about why he wanted to go.

The story has a happy ending. He was accepted. It was the best decision we ever made when it came to our kids’ education. The best two decisions: applying for the school and then encouraging him to write the letter for a second chance.

Now, my two older ones (including the one I just wrote about) are waiting to hear about their grad school applications. I’m sitting here, hoping that they will get what they want but I do know that they will manage, whatever is thrown their way.

Comment on Vassar College Makes Huge Acceptance-Letter Screw-Up, Hurts Students’ Feelings. But Should Their Parents Try to Fix It? by Denise

Denise — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 03:20:35 +0000

Thank you for your reply, Jennifer! It strikes me over and over again how parents (not just these parents) take a justifiable hurt their child has experienced, and spend as much or more time trying to right a wrong (that can’t or shouldn’t necessarily be righted) as they do trying to teach the child to make the best of a bad situation, grow and learn from it, and move on.

Denise

Comment on Vassar College Makes Huge Acceptance-Letter Screw-Up, Hurts Students’ Feelings. But Should Their Parents Try to Fix It? by Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 02:25:19 +0000

Two words. THANK YOU!!!!!! Yes, it sucks, sucks, sucks for these kids, but guess what? Life goes on. This will not be their last disappointment. It was a mistake – it wasn’t done to intentionally hurt or harm the students. Thank you for recognizing that – there’s a whole lot of parents out there that can’t.

Comment on The Best $80,000 I Ever Spent. (On Childcare) by Bee

Bee — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:46:48 +0000

Hi Denise,
as always I cannot but agree wholeheartedly.
When I was pregnant with my twins (and our older son was 1 1/2) I asked a friend of ours (who has two children and an amazing career as a doctor) how on eath I was going to manage it all. She simply exmplained to me that it is not quantity (i.e. the number of hours you spend with your kids every day) but quality (the way you spend time together) that counts.
Trying to look after you kids while at the same time working from home is doomed to fail, I believe.
Children deserve full attention, love and laughter, and a parent who is there in a 100% sort of way. And if they have that from 4 to 8 every day, they’ll be more than happy. But having parents who are never, never, never really there can be extremely hurtful.
Bee

Comment on The Best $80,000 I Ever Spent. (On Childcare) by Denise

Denise — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:13:09 +0000

Thanks so much for your comment, Kayris! I hope you keep reading — and stay tuned for a spiffy new redesign on this blog!

best,
Denise, aka Mean Mom

Comment on The Best $80,000 I Ever Spent. (On Childcare) by Kayris

Kayris — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:01:19 +0000

Here via Baltimore’s Child mag. Just wanted to say that I TOTALLY agree that 7 year olds do not need iPads! My 7 year old came home a few weeks ago to tell me that one of his classmates brought one in for show and tell. And of course he said he wanted one. I flipped out. Glad to know I’m not the only one.

Comment on Le Mean Maman: Are French Moms Meaner (And Are Their Kids Better Behaved as a Result)? by Amy

Amy — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:33:54 +0000

It’s probably easier when you can give your kids alcohol too. Just kidding! While I’m not the best at doing the boundaries thing, I think kids need boundaries, chores, discipline and rewards for real accomplishments not just for being who they are. While we want them to have freedom to be creative and express themselves and develop their full potential, we also have to keep in mind that they will be adults some day and it really doesn’t take long.

Comment on Contact Me! by Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:10:09 +0000

Hi Denise,

I tried to visit & “like” your FB page but it kept giving em an error message; did you change it?

I was trying to reach out to get your opinion on discipline/punishment. I have twin boys (turning two in Feb.) and I am at a loss as to what I “should” be doing. Since you have two boys I’ really looking for personal insight & advice. Thanks in advance for your reply! mo(dot)reilley(at)gmail(dot)com All the best!!

Comment on Le Mean Maman: Are French Moms Meaner (And Are Their Kids Better Behaved as a Result)? by Winnie Yu

Winnie Yu — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:38:08 +0000

Loved this glimpse into French mothering. I’ve always thought that we as Americans err on the side of what I call pansy parenting. A little toughness is good. High expectations are healthy. Some separation from mom and dad should be part of the childhood experience. Maybe it’s time we learn something from the French and Amy Chua.

Comment on Le Mean Maman: Are French Moms Meaner (And Are Their Kids Better Behaved as a Result)? by Sally

Sally — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:57:59 +0000

Here here! Great post. Love it. Another thing the French don’t do is “kids meals”. You won’t find mac n’ cheese or chicken nuggets on their menus. From what I know (and that is not too much), kids eat pretty much what the adults eat in France (and, I believe other parts of Europe). How I wish that were true here. While I do some of what the French parents do (like putting my and your kids at the tiny kitchen table while we eat on my large dining room table) and I don’t worry too much about stifling creativity (I, like you, do not think these things are mutually exclusive – there are plenty of opportunities to be creative that don’t include acting inappropriately, breaking rules, or just being downright annoying), I have failed at getting my kids to eat what we eat. To this day, this baffles me. I know I have to just give no other option, but they still just don’t eat sometimes. Take last night’s delicious and simple meal of spaghetti with bacon and peas (thanks for the recipe!). Phoebe picked out the spaghetti only (complaining all the while) and Jack ate nothing. Ce la vie.