Comments on: A(nother) Farewell to the Daughter I’ll Never Have

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 03 May 2010 12:46:13 +0000

Oh,this was such an honest piece. Living with 4 males in the house, my mind also cant’ help but wander, “what would a daughter have been like?”

Very real writing. Thank you.

By: Kelly Hartnett

Kelly Hartnett — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 19:42:56 +0000

My three boys are 18, 16, and another 16 (twins) and unfortunately the longing for a girl gets worse when they really start to break away, but I also am looking forward to some girl additions to the family in years to come.

By: H. Frye

H. Frye — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 23:00:17 +0000

Is it that I want a MiniMe, or is it more like another woman in the line…

I wonder. I too have two boys, lovely blue-eyed boys who are infinitely amazing, of course. And they show signs of inheriting my gift for language and passion for literature and the natural world. I see their imaginations growing and developing into that vast other world I employed as a little girl and I am never without a curious, curly-mopped companion at the stove.
And yet here I am, 38, and I sit on this pointed fence wondering if I want to try once more, and hoping it could just maybe be a girl. Because I want to look at her and see, like I held a mirror to a mirror, the endless succession of women, incredible women who ended up in me, and ultimately her.
Were it another boy I would no doubt cheer. And I would have no more. But a girl. Oh a girl.
And then I think ah, but if this last pregnancy was hard enough carting one boy around while the other writhed, rolled and danced on my bladder, then two? Boy howdy! And remember how much you slept, as in not at all? Do you really want to dig out that map you made of all the open bathrooms in a five-mile radius AND have to cart TWO children out of the car seats and with you 100 yards every time nature calls?
And there is the money. I’m just getting back to where I can freelance again. And we need to save for college.
But there she is again, deep in my mind, wearing the gingham prairie dress and mop hat (ala L.I. Wilder) that my mom made me when I was seven, and in her eyes I can look deep and see me, my mother, her mother, my beloved paternal grandmother, the great grandmothers I also knew. I can give her their names, their recipes, their jewelry, their strength. I can pass on in a way that I just won’t quite be able to with my sons, my wonderful sons.
What to do, what to do.
I wish I knew.

By: 10 Pregnancy and Parenting Blogs I Love! (March ‘10) | ExpectingWords.com

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:09:14 +0000

[...] Denise offers up her Confessions of a Mean Mommy on her blog. Most recently, she admits that as the mom of two boys, she still wishes she had a little girl. Would Freud call that “girl envy”? She writes, in jest (sort of), “Another Farewell to the Daughter I’ll Never Have.” [...]

By: Pregnancy Guide

Pregnancy Guide — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:17:21 +0000

Just what I was searching for! I was researching articles for our website when I came across your post (on Confessions of a Mean Mommy » Blog Archive » A(nother) Farewell to the Daughter I’ll Never Have) which I found on AOL. We would love you to write for us, if interested. I’ve bookmarked this post for future reference. Nice comments here as well – Cheers from Pregnancy Guide

By: Jennifer Fink

Jennifer Fink — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 04:43:43 +0000

The way I see it, clothes are actually a reason to be GLAD I don’t have girls! Sure, the baby stuff is cute — but once they get to be six or seven, it’s next-to-impossible to find approprate clothes. If I had a elementary school daughter, I wouldn’t *want her dressing like a teenager, you know?

By: jesscio

jesscio — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:56:49 +0000

I think you should do it because Margot Mary really is a great name!

By: Mrs Embers

Mrs Embers — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:22:30 +0000

We have 2 boys (4 and 2), and we won’t be having any more babies. I have to admit it was a bit of a relief to have boys and (I hope!) not look forward to my kids wanting to dress like Hannah Montana and play with Bratz, but it was sad to put away the name we’d picked out (Evelyn, for my husband’s grandmother), and to know I’d never see my husband with a little girl- he’d have been GREAT with a daughter. Maybe not so much with her future boyfriends, though.

All in all, I’m perfectly content with my boys, but I understand wanting a girl.

I consider myself lucky in that I have a 4-year old niece, 3 months younger than my oldest guy. She lives half-way across the country, but when I look at adorable girlie clothes, I can at least imagine buying them for her. I’ve never wished she was mine, but I DO wish my brother and his family lived closer to us. Girls are their own kind of fun.

By: Christina

Christina — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:08:00 +0000

I totally understand–and I have two girls. The hair and clothes are more fun. I confess I used to feel sorry for moms who had only boys and I never wanted one myself–until recently. (Maybe it has something to do with the unique form of abuse my miniMe teen daughter is capable of inflicting on me.) I suddenly really wish I had a son (but it’s not going to happen, obviously.)

By: babelbabe

babelbabe — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:29:36 +0000

I have four boys.
Not because we were “trying” for a girl, but because I got pregnant four times and each time, we had a boy, cuz that’s what happens.
I’ll never have my little Eleanor. I’m ok with it, but I do hear you loud and clear. And I spoil my lovely niece ROTTEN. Her poor brother probably thinks I don’t love him, although I do, very very much, but I can buy all those pretty, pink things for her.